Dreaming Without Sleeping
Luna makes a pivot, and Alma is left in tears.
Previously:
Miel had not been back to visit Luna since he brought her to the place where he stays with a kaleidoscope of butterflies. He had hoped to impress her, and towards the end of their stay he asked: do you think you can live here? He was surprised and hurt when she remained silent.
Dito ka lang muna (stay here for now), she finally said, and it implied an acceptance of the transience of their arrangement. Why then would you leave love letters on the altar for me? Why aren’t you sleeping at night, as if you’re waiting for me?
Miel decided to make himself scarce. That strategy always worked. Luna will look for him, he was sure.
On the few times Miel went to Luna’s apartment without letting himself be felt, Luna seemed fine. He began showing himself in her dreams, but on the nights she’s asleep she assumes a different character altogether, friendlier and sentimental, almost clingy even, always eager to welcome him.
She’s asleep when she dreams and talks to him, and calls herself Alma. She doesn’t recall having gone to his place but knows it happened. I know, she said, Luna made a point of telling me that she didn’t need to sleep and dream about you, she claims everything is real between the two of you. She sounded angry when she said this.
Miel decided to talk to Luna again. She didn’t seem surprised seeing him. I can hear your voice and see your face more clearly than the people I’ve heard and seen yesterday. He said: Maybe I can show you the place where I actually stay? You would love the coconut trees and the people around.
Can you make dreams real without me sleeping, like you did before? You needn’t talk to Alma, you know.
Then Luna smiled. See you tomorrow.
That night, though, Alma asked to go with Miel to see the butterflies. Miel didn’t have to think twice. I’m in love with Luna, he whispered, I came back for her.
Alma wept. She was still sobbing when she woke up. She saw Luna tiptoeing out of the room. Luna threw a careless glance towards the bed and announced: Don’t wait up, Alma, I’m not coming home tonight.
Heavy, Mary Oliver